Wednesday, June 24, 2009

D/J -10

...Wo Shi Beijing Ren*

You Know You're a Beijing Ren When...
Everybody love those lists (my favorites are in italic).

  1. You've been spit on countless times
  2. When you go back to your home country, you try to bargain in shops
  3. Stop signs? Traffic lights? What?
  4. You never look both ways before crossing the street
  5. Going to the Great Wall is really boring
  6. You have tons of designer clothes, none of which are real
  7. You own movies on DVD before they come out in theaters
  8. 5 kuai is a big tip to give a taxi driver
  9. You don't think it’s weird when you see hundreds of people trying to squeeze into one bus
  10. It's not weird when 50 year old construction workers check you out
  11. You've been called lao wai
  12. Bing tang hu lu!!!!
  13. You love the pollen in spring because it's the closest you get to snow
  14. Getting clothes tailored is cheaper than buying them
  15. Manicures, pedicures and massages aren't considered luxuries
  16. Anything can be put in the back of a truck (flowers, humans, beer, chickens...)
  17. Nothing is official. Nothing is against the law as long as you don't get caught
  18. Guards don't have guns, they have sticks
  19. There is no legal drinking age
  20. You are "very good friends" with numerous shopkeepers
  21. Liu kou shui is yummy. You buy it by the box
  22. Horn honking means nothing. It's just a habit.
  23. You learn to appreciate a taxi driver that actually wants to take you where you want to go
  24. You get excited for the winter sweet potatoes
  25. Everything you own is from Ikea
  26. You don't drink water. You just don't
  27. Sparks fly when you move your blanket
  28. Your lips, hands, skin, and hair are always dry
  29. You think Chinese food from your own country is disgusting
  30. You get really excited when Wikipedia is unblocked
  31. You add an "er" to everything you say in Chinese. (Sanlituner, wan er, zai na er?")
  32. It doesn't bother you when people stare. You just stare back.
  33. You no longer clean anything; you know the dust will be back in an hour.
  34. You carry toilet paper everywhere and you are very good at using a squatter
  35. You stock up on toothpaste and toiletries whenever you're in your country
  36. You have multiple piercing your parents don’t know about. And a tattoo.
  37. You buy lava lamps at the black market
  38. You sleep better on night trains than in your own bed
  39. You love fang bian mian
  40. Roads go in rings
  41. You have to pay to use the bathroom. It's easier to go in a bush
  42. You can tell anyone exactly how many days there are until the Olympics
  43. You can spot a tourist a mile away
  44. You know how to ride the subway
  45. You've gone for a wild ride in a san lu er che
  46. When you're watching a DVD, it's not strange to see people's head popping up, from when it was filmed in the theater.
  47. You can always see cranes. No matter where you look.
  48. If you can't find a place you're looking for, chances are it's not because you're lost, it's just been torn down
  49. You don't buy or wear white clothes; they'll be gray by the end of the day
  50. You love Beijing and you never want to leave!

* I'm a Beijinger